dialogue transition?
by Ted
(Canada)
I was informed that my writing should have more action words/sentences around them to make the dialog "more alive."
Here is a sample of my text:
"That's a lot trouble to go through just to solve a puzzle" interrupted Natalie.
Brigit began to laugh "It is not just any puzzle. It is THE puzzle!"
Natalie was having a hard time believing what Brigit was saying. "So let me try to understand this. The child I'm carrying is some sort of "chosen" one. He will have the ability to open the box and solve the puzzle inside. And this puzzle is somehow important in someway. Does that about cover it?" Natalie said questioningly.
"Exactly! That is why I'm not charging you for this or any other visit that we might have. Your child will have the ability to...." Brigit was interrupted by the waitress.
"Who ordered the Rueben?" Asked the waitress. All the while balancing the dishes precariously on her arms.
Natalie signaled to herself. The waitress placed the plate on the table.
"So you ordered the pastrami on rye" she said as she placed the second plate in front of Brigit.
"This is the biggest Rueben that I have ever seen" Natalie said thinking out loud.
"You bet, and one of the best around" Brigit answered.
As the two women ate Brigit continued telling Natalie about the future of her child. "It will be a long road for your child and not always the easiest, but it will be a short trip. However your child will ultimately find the answers that will impact a lot of lives. When we get back to the office I'm going to give you the box. I want you to give the box to your child on its eighteenth birthday. At that point your child will have enough knowledge to open the box. What your child chooses to do with what it finds inside will be up to him or her. And I can't stress enough that the choice must be solely your child's" Brigit stopped there. Natalie wasn't sure what to say at this point.
"Well I guess this would explain the strange songs playing this morning" stated Natalie.
"What do mean by strange?" asked Brigit.
"When my radio alarm went off this morning, it was playing The Rolling Stones - Sympathy for the Devil. While I was having my coffee I turned on the radio and heard Albert Kings - Born Under a Bad Sign. And finally while in the car on my way here the Eagles - Witchy Woman was playing." Natalie answered.
"That would be your guides trying to get your attention. I knew when I met you in the market that you yourself were gifted. I suggest you listen to what they have to tell you. In this case they were trying to communicate with you through the medium you would find most acceptable. They will come in dreams, through people you will meet as well as music and if you are open enough they may become visible entities or ghosts." Brigit responded while rising from her chair.
Natalie followed Brigit to the cashier at the front of the restaurant. Brigit paid their tab and picked up the to-go order for Brigit's secretary.
The walk back to Brigit's office was a quiet one. Natalie spent the time trying to process all of the information she had been given over lunch. Is it possible that she had "spirit guides" and that her unborn child was going to somehow be responsible for "impacting a lot of lives". And would she be strong enough to allow her child to follow this path and his or her destiny.