Details To Boredom! :)
People say you should always, always, ALWAYS put lots of details in your writing! But don't over-do them! If you do them your readers can get bored if you put too many in.
Just Enough: The door was just a little taller than the rest. Not that she really noticed that, she was too focused on listening to what was behind the door. A scream resonded through the long hallway, emmitting right from the door and where she stood. The aging women had looked through the key hole, wanting to know what was behind. What she had seen was her daughter Haley, pegged onto a stake, with a person beneath trying to light a fire.
Too Much: The old, wooden, and rotting door was an inch and 1/2 taller than the other ones lining the hall. But she didn't notice the height at all, concentrating way too much on any noise coming from behide that taller door. She could've been attacked and not noticed anything until the mugger was right on top of her. A pure, true, clean scream came from her, where she stood exactly in front of the door. The gray-haired, aging women of about 50 years old had peered through the key hole on that door. She had wanted to know what was behind, what was happening behind the too aging door. When she had peered through the key hole, she had seen her 21 year old, red haired daughter, Haley, nailed to a stake. Blood pouring out of gashes where the screws were going past her body and into the wood. There was an old haggish looking person beneath Haley's size 8 in women's shoes feet trying to catch a tipi of wood on fire.
Click here to post comments
Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Writing Tips.