A twilight rip-off?

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A twilight rip-off?

by Jessica
(NJ)

I'm only twelve years old and have started writing a 5 book series about teenaged wizards. The main character Nessa, short for Jenessa, moves back to her hometown and hooks up with her old best friend, Jacob Crane. Along the way their relationship grows. In the middle of the first book (still) they both turn into mythical creatures; wizards. Nessa is more powerful and has more potential than Jacob does. (Yada yada yada) Nessa gets herself into danger... I've been able to edit the first book so it isn't so close to the book twilight. When i started to think about the rest of my series i immediately thought of the Twilight Saga. The 2nd book Jacob leaves Nessa (not really long, though) to study more wizardry in the Magic World (Jake doesn't want to leave Nessa, but he needs to have a fall back when it doesn't work out for him in the human world) and leaves Nessa home wondering if he'd be back or not. (Before leaving, Jacob told Nessa that he'd come back at the end of the year. But if things went well he probably wouldn't come back.) She goes to the beach for a while trying to forget about Jacob when nothing works out. Connor Adelle (her friend when she moved away from Jacob in the first place) was at the beach and they hit it off again. (Connor will move to where Nessa now lives at the end of the book). Connor is a wizard but is part elf... which makes everything harder for him. (that didn't have to do anything with the rest...) Continuing... Jacob couldn't stand being away from Nessa so he comes back to her within a week, and figures out who Connor is. Along the rest of the series Connor has a crush on Nessa but she doesn't feel that way with Connor. Connor doesn't really have a chance to be with Nessa until book 3 or 4 (still haven't decided) and she chooses between him and Jacob. She'll choose Jacob and Connor finally remains a friend. The end=Nessa and Jacob get married, have two kids (Parker and Payson) and they run into danger but stay a family. Does that sound too much like Twilight? Am i a Twilight rip-off? What should i change? How should I change it? I might be 12 but I have a lot to live for. I might be young but I think a lot about my book that probably won't even go anywhere. Please respond!! if you don't mind by answering one last question do you think you can answer how a 12 year old (like me) might write the books with the marriage and the children and birth and mature things like that? Thanks!!

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A twilight rip-off?

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Oct 21, 2011

please do not add anymore comments
by: FROM THE WRITER

I am no longer in this problem, thanks to a friend of mine. I have adapted my books and they are completely original, and completely different. I'm also no longer 12, i'll be 15 next month xD

thanks for any help you've given
-Jessica

Oct 15, 2011

nope
by: yohanna

your story line doesn't seem a lot like twilights, but you make it sound like the twilight books are the only ones you've read. This is what you should be worried about because they're a collection of truly horrible books. I know your only 12 but if you really want to write you should read books that are actually beneficial for that. twilight is something you'd read when your bored and not bothered to think because the story line is so predictable. Read something like harry potter or even watch the movies, at least they have twists and keep the reader on the edge of thier seats.
Also remeber not to kick your self about not being able to write about 'mature' things. writers tend to need tons of life experience about love and pain and lust and growth to get anywhere near to putting it all down on paper. writing a book isn't simply about your english literature skills but about how you can convey the emotions you'd want your reader to feel through words. obviously it'd be hard to do this if you don't understand these emotions yourself.
basically, my advise is to read loads of books before deciding on a plot you seem to think would be succesful since its vaguely based on twilight's. Also, don't rush into writing, i know twilight seems like it was writen by a 12 year old but stephenie meyer really did just get lucky. I'm not telling you to give up, just grow and learn, fall in love, make mistakes, just remember and hold each of these memories and I'm sure your books will definitely make it ^^
***email address removed due to possible harvesting by spambots***

Oct 25, 2010

I'm new here
by: Anonymous

I would suggest changing the names of the characters. I really like your story but to me, it does sounds rather like Twilight. The names and the fact that Jacob goes away but comes back after 1 week which is like Twilight New Moon when Edward leaves Bella but returns when he hears upsetting news about Bella. I think maybe think about having a different idea then Jacob leaving. For a 12 year old I really do like how you have come up with this story and the ideas behind it. I hope you do continue with your story and I hope I?m able to read the rest of the book in the future.
Fulham Plumbers

Dec 06, 2009

E-mails
by: Shawna

That's okay! I'll answer what I can. Audrey means that if your e-mail is blahblah @ hotmail.com (no spaces) you should write it as blahblahAThotmail.com or blahblah AT hotmail.com.

My e-mail is qtpielovespenguins AT yahoo.com

Thanks so much for sharing e-mails with me! (sorry if my address is a bit long......haha.) Looking forward to your reply!

Dec 06, 2009

Heeey
by: JESSICA

It's a good idea to share emails... but I'm not so sure how to do that... I mean Audrey (thank you) did explain it fairly well i'm just not so sure exactly how to go upon doing that. I'm very confused and get confused too. Please let me know what we should do about it.

P.S. It would be nice to exchange ideas for our books, it'd be nice to be able to help eachother out in our problems about it. Just make sure that you understand what you're getting yourself into, because I tend to rely on those who help (meaning I have PLENTY questions about my book to keep you busy, lollz)

Dec 05, 2009

Thank You
by: Shawna

Thank you, Audrey. I'm glad you put this site on here. It's a good place to read about things to improve my writing.

Dec 05, 2009

From Audrey
by: Audrey

Hello Shawna and Jessica,

I'm so glad you have found each other online and it's fine to share email addresses. Just be careful how you go about it. For example, email address are often harvested by spam bots. One way around that is to write AT instead of using the @ symbol. Another idea that may work for both of you is to participate in a writers' forum. There are several online. Just google "writers forum" and you'll find some. Check them out to see if you would fit in to any particular forum.

That way, you would not only "meet" each other, but many other writers as well.

In the mean time, I've certainly enjoyed reading your exchanges here and I imagine others have as well.

My very best wishes to you both.

Dec 05, 2009

You're Welcome
by: Shawna

I did that too (fall in love with a certain idea), and it was sooooo hard to let go of it for me, so I can see why you don't want to. And you don't have to! Lucky. For me, I wanted my main character to end up in a hospital while she transformed into a vampire, but I had to let go of that fantasy because I changed how humans turn into vampires, and her going to a hospital just wasn't practical. And, yes, I do think that the slight plot change you made sounds good. And the names you picked out sound better, and not so similar to Twilight. I hope that you're having fun writing!

P.S. Do you want to trade e-mail addresses? I don't really have any friends that write as seriously as I do, and it would be nice to have someone to talk to about it. Thanks!

Dec 04, 2009

AUTHOR COMMENT
by: Jessica

Hey, Shawna, thank you for commenting, i'm Jessica.

I have changed the names. I'm not exactly sure if the male's name is official but i've chosen Jayden. For the girl i wanted to change it because it did sound like nessie. so i've chosen the name Mikayla, and sometimes jayden would call her Mikey. Cute? Lol, and for the love triangle... I like the idea of her turning Jayden into an animal by accident, but i also fell in love with the idea of him leaving. It's his father making jayden leave Mikayla, so maybe he's afraid his son won't be the wizard he wants him to be, he wants his son to be better than he was, but he doesn't like the idea of Mikayla being better than him, so him turning into the animal might have officially made up his mind for leaving? Does that sound okay? If you have any ideas for me please tell me. Good luck on your book! =)

Dec 01, 2009

Love Triangle
by: Shawna

Your story sounds like it will be good, but I would change the names. Janessa is a nice name, but Jacob is just too similar to Twilight. As a huge fan of the twilight series, as soon as you mention the names 'Jacob' and 'Nessie' (or, in this case, Nessa) together I think "Twilight!". So you can keep Janessa, but I might look up some alternate names for Jacob. I like the idea of writing about teenage wizards, and I don't mind the love triangle plot, but if you wanted to switch up the plot a bit, why not make some of Nessa's wizardry go wrong and she can do something to Jacob instead of him leaving? She could, I dunno, turn him into a mouse or something (not a wolf!!! and no frogs...too common) and go to her friend for help. It would separate it from Twilight a little more.

Dec 01, 2009

Love Triangle
by: Shawna

Your story sounds like it will be good, but I would change the names. Janessa is a nice name, but Jacob is just too similar to Twilight. As a huge fan of the twilight series, as soon as you mention the names 'Jacob' and 'Nessie' (or, in this case, Nessa) together I think "Twilight!". So you can keep Janessa, but I might look up some alternate names for Jacob. I'm just 13 years old and writing my own story about vampires. In an effort to make my story unlike Stephenie Meyer's, I invented a different type of vampires and my story plan is a lot different. I like the idea of writing about teenage wizards

Aug 29, 2009

Love Triangle Help...
by: HerBFFJamie

The thing is she needs help on a story thing... like the love triangle needs something a little different because it's kind of the same. I'm her friend so I know what she's going through. and Nessa is the main character so i don't think it's really that much of a problem since she's not three months old and that she's 17 at the moment. Thanks for your comment, though, it meant alot to her. If you don't mind do you think you could help her by giving suggestions on the love triangle problem she's really stressing over it, she might be 12 but she's really into it, she's got alot of potential. Thanks!!

Aug 29, 2009

Change The Names
by: Anonymous

Jenessa sounds like Nessie; if you change it, people won't notice it so much.

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A twilight rip-off?

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